Here is the long version:
Napoleon had been spending more time than usual in Dakota and/or Sierra's rooms. He would stay in there even when they came out and were out for an extended amount of time. Usually, he would only wait for a bit and then have to join the rest of the family. Especially when we were all eating.
On Thursday, while Chloe and I were doing school, Chloe said he was standing on the foyer. I had the wash going and wondered if he was afraid to go the rest of the way down because of the dryer buzzing. I finished up school and got our stuff together for errands (at least 20 minutes). When I went down to switch the loads before heading out the door he was still standing there. He turned around and put his nose by the door. He never does that. He never goes out the front. We can even leave the door open 2 feet and he will just sit at the top of the stairs and watch us run in and out. I switched the laundry and went in Dakota's room to see if Napoleon would come down since Dakota's door was open. Nope. I got Dakota to come out. We went upstairs and Dakota got him a treat. Napoleon actually seemed to consider if it was worth it to go up the stairs for the treat. I wondered if maybe he had to go to the bathroom and did not want to use the deck stairs. I had Dakota take him out. He went pee and then laid down in the yard while Dakota watered the tomato plants. He came back up the stairs and down all the stairs inside to be in Dakota's room with him. Dakota thought maybe he was limping a bit. He spent the rest of the night as he usually does - on and off the couch with the boys downstairs watching TV and then sleeping on our bed.
He got restless during the night and stood up on the bed and something didn't seem right. I woke up and reached out to him and he laid down again. I am not sure how much later, I awoke again as he jumped off the bed and laid on the floor. Not much later he began panting really hard. Brent got out of bed and laid next to him on the floor. About a minute later Napoleon got up and went and stood by the back door - this was around 5, I think. Brent let him out the door and he stood at the top of the stairs for quite awhile. He finally went down and threw up. He went pee and then tried to poop about three times, but never did. When he came up stairs, he put his head by his doggy door but did not come in. Brent opened the back door and we both called him to come in. He did not move. He just kept looking straight forward like he did not even here us. I cannot remember if he came in or not, but he ended up going down again. I woke the teens and told them what was going on, then I got a towel and went and sat with him while he laid in the dewy grass.
Sierra came out and sat with us for a couple of hours. We gave him some water and he drank quite a bit. I was happy - thought it was a good sign. A minute later he got up, walked about six feet and threw up. Then he just stood there and would not look at us. I knew it was going to be getting pretty hot, so I decided to attempt to bring him in. I know he does not like to be picked up. He struggles terribly, so I never do it for fear I will hurt him. I picked him up and he barely struggled at all. I carried him up the deck stairs and inside to Sierra's room and their I spent the rest of the day.
Dakota cried the entire day. He barely surfaced from his room and the bathroom. I had Sierra take a nap in my room while Dakota and I spent some time with Napoleon in her room. I did a lot of research on the internet. I did not want to take him to the vet and stress him out even more if I did not have to. I knew in my heart that it was not something they could fix. He has had several tumors for years, but he has developed a number more and some of them were in key places where is lymph nodes would be. I could not come to terms with putting him to sleep if he did not appear to be in pain. That is not a choice I wanted to make.
He was lethargic all day and would get up and stand until I made him lay down and rest again. He also seemed to be breathing harder than he should have needed to since he was just laying around. He went outside once on the deck and down the stairs. He just stood there on the slab at the bottom. He eventually turned and stared up the stairs at Dakota and I. I went down and carried him back up.
After more research I found out that dogs can be sick for a long time, but they do not show it until it is really severe - survival of the fittest and the pack mentality. I also found out that dogs will breathe heavily rather than cry out in pain. Again for the same reason.
He went outside right after I found this out and peed. It was very dark. He laid down in the grass all sprawled out. It began to thunder and he did not even move. He has been afraid of thunder for the past couple of years and will hide out in Dakota's room. I picked him up again and carried him inside. He was making a faint whining/wheezing sound as he exhaled. I knew now that he was in pain and probably had been all day. It broke my heart and I just wished he would be at peace and let go. I could not put him down by myself and Dakota and Sierra would not go - it was too much for them. I had to wait for Brent.
He hurried through the rest of his day and rushed home. Napoleon got up and stood in the kitchen after Brent got home. It was heart wrenching when he would do this. He would start to fall asleep while standing but would not move to lay down or to move forward no matter how we coaxed him. Brent fell apart and went to change his clothes and try to pull himself together.
The kids said good-bye and I had to explain to Chloe what was happening. She knew he was sick, but she was hoping he would get better. When I called her to her room to talk to her, she fell apart. I explained to her that he was in pain and that when we took him to the vet they would put him to sleep and he would not wake up again. And he would not be coming home with us. She asked if we could see him again and why exactly we had to do this. I explained that he was in pain and we did not want that for him and that after he went to sleep we would die. She said she was hoping this day would not come and that sometimes you have to let things go. When I tucked her in that night, she reminded me of a dream she had the night before last that we had lost Napoleon and we could not find him. She said she now knew why she had that dream.
Brent and I took Napoleon to an emergency hospital and they put him to sleep. He did not struggle on the drive nor when they came to get him on a gurney. He had no fight left. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
I knew that this day would eventually come and I was so worried how it would affect the kids and Brent. I knew it would be terribly hard for them. I had no idea how hard it would be for me. He was truly the best dog and we will all have a big whole in our lives without him here.
No comments:
Post a Comment